Everybody’s got an opinion about everything and Disney is no exception. Sometimes, we all agree and the world is a happy place full of unicorns and rainbows. Other times, somebody comes along and throws a wrench into everything, making some outlandish claim that generally causes internet fury. Today, that person is me. I’ve got some pretty unpopular opinions that I stand behind wholeheartedly. Because I stand behind my arguments for these opinions, you might be left feeling a little #laywered (Marshall? How I Met Your Mother? Anybody?).
Mission: SPACE is a BLAST (pun fully intended)
I love Mission: SPACE (orange side – I’ve never done green). I can ride this attraction over and over and over and still enjoy every second. At least at this point in my life, I can hop on for consecutive trips to Mars even after eating my body weight in Mickey Pretzels. Also, I don’t mind that the buttons don’t do anything — I’ll press them anyway! (I did find that some will consistently result in a beep-boop noise that I find altogether far too entertaining.) Even though this is just a simulation, it gives me the simulated rush that no other ride at Disney can. I love roller coasters, but no roller coaster is going to pin me to my seat the way Mission: SPACE does as I blast off to Mars. This is an innovative experience that gives me a rush of exhilaration other attractions can’t match because they’re all bound by the laws of physics. What’s not to love?
I do understand that this attraction, without fail, will make some people sick, and for you, I am so sorry. But for those who can handle the spinning and simply don’t like it — I don’t understand. But hey, keep skipping it. That keeps my wait time down.
Dole Whips Really Aren’t that Good
*gasp!!* I’m doing it. I’m coming after the untouchable Disney dessert: the Dole Whip. I’ve tried both the traditional Dole Whipand the spiked Dole Whip (with Malibu rum from Tamu Tamu, and I think it’s also offered over at the Poly);
I even tried the float! My first few bites of this overpriced treat were enjoyable, but the flavor was a never-ending tart powerhouse attacking 40% of my senses and I was over it long before I’d enjoyed the value. I could taste nothing but sugary pineapple flavor (and pineapple “flavor” is not the same as real pineapple) for a good solid hour afterwards. It was like the gift that kept on giving, no matter how politely I refused. Pass me a citrus swirl and I’m on board. Or better yet, liquefied cheese and some kind of carb to dip in it. Before you come after me with pitchforks, Dole Whip lovers, think about it this way: the less Dole Whip I eat, the more there is available for you!
Sandals are the Best Footwear for the Parks
40 Miles of Flip-Flops — I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, every single trip. I’ve heard the arguments for wearing comfortable sneakers and cushioned socks while in the parks. I hear the logic; I really do. I will just never make the switch. I’m not about sweaty feet and I’m really not about wet feet. For me, some soreness in my heels is worth avoiding squishy-squelchy wet sneakers 10 out of 10 times. Sure, if it rains a little, you can change wet socks, but if you get poured on mid-morning, and you’re sloshing through flooded streets, your feet are going to be pruny and wet for the rest of your day. Soggy skin is delicate, uncomfortable skin asking for blisters and I’m not about it. IF you’re lucky, your shoes might dry by the next morning. Plus, the heavens in Florida can be vengeful (so can Disney’s water rides if you get just the right splash). Sometimes, you won’t just have wet shoes (and the discomfort that comes along with them), but the sheer soaking your footwear receives could be their very demise.
Bonus amusement: sandal tan lines are hilarious. (I went two months ago and mine still haven’t fully faded.)
Dinner at ‘Ohana Does Not Live Up to its Reputation
Early in the ZADD Crew Blog’s life, I wrote a post about my favorite bread and butter offerings from sit-down restaurants in Walt Disney World. ‘Ohana’s made the cut (and I stand by that decision), but my praise of the dinner as a whole may have been slightly colored by fear of backlash. But, the truth must come out!! While I had a fantastic time at ‘Ohana the one time I visited (and I recognize that there are any number of factors that may have been one-off unfortunate circumstances leading to my feelings about ‘Ohana, so I will give it a second try someday), that enjoyment was entirely due to the company and not at all aided by the dinner experience.
For those who don’t know, dinner at ‘Ohana is a family-style experience where guests can enjoy all they care to eat of the
options provided. Dinner starts with pineapple bread (still delicious) and a mixed greens salad. Next, comes an enormous skillet platter of pot stickers, chicken wings, noodles, and mixed veggies. Another point conceded: I could have eaten approximately 4000 of those pot stickers. Servers will come table-to-table with enormous skewers offering steak, chicken, or shrimp. For dinner, ‘Ohana offers their famous pineapple bread pudding a la mode.
Dinner started off well enough: I love me some bread, salad, and those pot stickers, but as I helped myself to more appetizers and sides, I realized that the sheer size of the frying pan holding these goodies meant they cooled down extremely quickly. Yes, I obviously wanted more pot stickers…but I didn’t want cold ones. And I wasn’t about to ask for new pot stickers when there were still half a dozen in my frigid (exaggerating a little) pan. Unfortunately, I faced a similar situation once the skewers made their way to me. These skewers are HUGE. If a server doesn’t come to your table straight from the kitchen, those skewers can dance around a good portion of the dining room without the server needing a trip back to the kitchen for a fresh batch. If you’re not lucky with timing, your protein will also be disappointingly….cold. Lastly — and I get this is a me problem — I don’t like bread pudding. I’m generally not a picky eater, but wet bread isn’t my thing (so I’ll pass on traditional stuffing, too). I didn’t feel comfortable asking for an alternate dessert because I don’t have a food allergy, so I enjoyed a bit of ice cream and some banana slices, but generally felt disappointed at dessert.
Bottom line – if I’m going to pay over $50 for dinner (before tax, tip, or alcoholic drinks), I just want my food to be hot. If a restaurant can’t figure out how to give each guest hot food, it’s not that great.
I want to give a special thanks to @mickeys_photographer, @thedisneygrl, @DizDad, and @DougDoesDisney for the use of their photographs in this post!